Life, Love, and Ball.

As a senior coming into your final year of the dreaded high school you think you have life, for the most part, figured out. Never in my life did I ever think that in my senior year, I could be impacted by a bunch of underclassmen. My 2014 varsity volleyball team changed everything. These girls are my pride and joy and my motivation. It is unbeleivable to me how much they make me push myself to be greater; they make me want to be so much more than what I think I can give them. I look into their young faces and I feel as if I can actually see the greatness that they don't even think they're destined for. Each and every girl on my team has so much that they will accomplish, so much more that they will do when I'm gone. The growth they've shown me goes beyond anything I've ever seen. It's incredible how far we have come as a team. I am so grateful to these girls for playing their hearts out and giving me the opportunity to be a small part of the best game of my life. We left our hearts out on that court as a family. We knew we were a close-knit group before, but as the cliche goes, you will honestly never know the how much you need the girl next to you, how much she needs you, or (no matter how much they get on your last nerve) how much you want them to succeed, until it's over. I'm STILL in a daze. A part of me cannot fathom the fact that it's really over. What? What do you mean there's no practice on Monday? Now that it's over I want that time back! Give me those long practices, give me those inside jokes, the cheering, the energy, and even the attitudes. I would kill to get it all back, to do it one more time, exactly the same; I have zero regrets. Right now, in this moment I am so humbled. I am so grateful for my teammates, these weirdly awesome underclassmen who taught me something beyond what I can even articulate in my mind to write in this post; it's a mixture of appreciation and straight love. Don't ever go into any situation thinking you already know the outcome, or thinking that you alone are fully equipped to cross the finish line. Whatever road you're traveling on, don't ignore the signs just because their being held up by sophomores.

When People Are Nice.

Sweet people can just change a girls whole day, whole world even! Yesterday I had that experience. Life was rough the night before because of a small argument between me and one of my close friends. I had a game the next day and I became really nervous that the tension would wreck my concentration before the game. Both my volleyball and the boys soccer team had their first round of the state tournament that afternoon. As the volleyball team ate our team lunch, we noticed the entire soccer team get up in a sort of clump and stumble over to our table. "1, 2, 3" said Eddie as they chanted together "Good luck volleyball!" It was awesome! I got a super smile on my face as I hugged my awesome friends for their sweet gesture. My day began to turn around at that moment. On top of that, my friend and I started laughing at the same jokes and actually had a conversation together! But wait, it keeps getting better. At the volleyball game I counted at least eight fans that weren't our parents! From Castle Crazies, to faculty members, to middle school stragglers. It was great. I went from being worried about my focus to leading the team in kills and getting my own little shoutout in the morning announcements! Small acts of kindness people, it's really worth it.

Nathan. My ginger.

Nathan Pike currently resides as my all time favorite ginger. Let me tell you about this red headed hunk. Nathan is a total boss at soccer; he definitely ignited my respect for what I thought was a gay sport. When I watched my first game, I realized that the field was huge and it is near impossible to score a goal. But the "Ginger god" found a way to kick that tiny round thing full speed past the goalie! It was awesome. Nathan may appear to be quiet and to himself, but this fiery charmer is definitely a ladies man. He has multiple females in line for his affection because of his stellar awesomeness. He typically hangs out with his bros and is a chill, country boy. If there's any guy that I can imagine in our older years riding on a tractor in a cool sun hat, and shades chewing on a toothpick in his spare time, it's Nathan. Nathan's a pretty smart guy- I mean he usually scores higher than me but I'm not really sure if that's saying much. If you don't know him, get to know him. Nathan's awesome and he'll always be my red hot chili pepper.

Jared.

Jared, one name, one boy, so amazing. A mysterious being he is, that Jared. One can never be too sure about Jared. Is he happy? Is he angry? Doe he hate you, or nah? Although his facial expressions make those that do not know him confused, his complexity is his best quality. He's Jared, he doesn't have a need to explain his thoughts to outsiders. For what? All they need to know is that he is the guy in charge, the athlete to be, the man. Jared is the epitome of a chick magnet; his stature is uncontrollably attractive making him irresistible and the ultimate hottie. With his army of soccer studs by his side he is practically unstoppable. Jared is an amazing director of film and has a keen eye when it comes to the camera. If you have ever seen a film production by Jared you know this to be true, he has a creative mind and clear visions. Jared is a mellow sweetheart underneath his secretive exterior. If you ever find yourself in a position to get to know Jared take full advantage of it. And listen to bluegrass, lots of bluegrass. 

Power?

Forgetting my lipstick was today's critical fail. I am in no way bound to my makeup bag; I wear no more than three times a week. But, on the days I do wear makeup, I try to make sure every detail is as good as I can get it. Usually I don't wake up early enough to complete my entire face mission at home, so I put on the hard part (eyeliner) at home and then the easier parts (mascara & lipstick) in the school parking lot. Well of course today after suffering from three nights of straight sleep deprivation I forgot my lipstick. It really isn't that big of a deal, but at that moment I had lost my will to go on. The struggle became more and more apparent as I could not even preform basic tasks in class. My mind was totally not even present. My power seems to lie in my control. No I don't need makeup to feel pretty, like I said I don't even wear it everyday. It's the fact that I had a plan, and that plan was not executed in full and that was a problem. I need help.

I Am Senior.

School is just the struggle. Late night studying is the struggle. Senior-itis is the ultimate struggle. Motivation for a senior to do work must hide itself deep down in the darkest abyss of the origin of procrastination. The urge to do nothing at all stems from the sight of the finish line (graduation day) inching closer and closer on our calendars. Clearly the weight of college acceptance and passing our current classes should be more than enough motivation. The moments of living "in the now" and doing senior year the "right way" seem to completely override the possibilities of having no colleges find you even the slightest bit satisfactory. This logic brings shame to the hard work that once stood behind our reputations, all for a couple of parties and athletic events. It all comes down to either experience or success, though no one is limited to the two things. Some will risk it all for those few, short-lived moments of adrenaline and pleasure. It could leave them scarred or it could leave them satisfied, especially if it happens to be a quick phase or one-time thing. But, some will take the road less travelled by and stay focused on their future, keeping a keen eye out for opportunities to broaden their chance for success. Challenge yourself and take an introspective look at life and what college means to you.

Babies.

What are babies thinking? I mean they are all born into sin. So, does this mean that when they poop while sitting adorably in your lap, then dunk their tiny foot in the disturbing mush while you are trying to change their diaper on purpose? I mean all of that can't just be coincidental. Every time I babysit, if I walk past the mirror with a baby on my hip I just stop and thank The Lord that it's not mine! I have seen too many Teen Mom commercials on MTV to be even remotely excited about a future with kids. The way teen moms are portrayed in the media is a working scare tactic against teen pregnancies. These babies wait until the most disturbing moments to cry and scream. Throw away any traces of the sexual immorality you once wanted to or planned to do with your partner, for I assure you the result (at least the first couple years of it) will be brutal. Not to forget the internal destruction for the mother as the baby sucks nutrients and food right out of her stomach! The ripping of your perfect figure and your vagina should overrule your "crazy in love" emotions and sexual attractions to any male on this planet. Talk about a fatal attraction.

Cleopatra.

Cleopatra struggles in the morning. She tries to be extremely organized e night before, but no matter how prepared she thinks she is something always slows her down. Usually her main obstacle is hitting "Snooze" but don't we all? Cleopatra has a problem deciding on whether or not what she chose to wear the night before looks right the next day. She can be very particular in that way. Cleopatra wants to look her best everyday (or at least most) like the few stylish human beings on this earth. She always finds herself pondering, "Is this necklace too edgy for this shirt?" Or "Do these pants make my butt look flat?" But when she finally makes it out the door looking as satisfying as time would allow, she cranks up her Spotify and hits the road. Belting songs from the playlist that fits her mood she pulls into her parking space. Thinking that the worst is over, she's ready to move on and go into the building, or so she thought. But then her mascara slips from her fingers into the crack between the passer seat and the middle console and she realizes life is over.

It Should Be Fun.

Outfits shouldn't always take your brain to near insanity. They shouldn't be this stressful task; instead they should be an exciting part of your day where you can go play in your closet and come out confident. Barbie was my original inspiration, and to this day, every time I get dressed I dive in with her words in the back of my mind, "Be who you wanna be" and by default (because it's so darn catchy) I have to finish the jingle, "B-A-R-B-I-E Barbie girl!" The last part is irrelevant, but my point is, choosing your clothes gives you an opportunity to create yourself your way. Why not? Start with an open mind and create a look for yourself that fulfills all of your personal desires. Use your emotions. If you're feeling sassy and you wanna be Beyoncé, go into that closet and walk out Queen B! If you're feeling bummy then go in there and come out the hottest bum anyone's ever seen. Maybe you can think of it as dressing "chill" instead of sloppy; this way you're still looking trendy on even your worst days. Get inspired. It's not copying, or unoriginal to get an idea from someone else. Keep calm, you're still yourself. 

Airport Inspo.

Wanna know why fashion and I are friends? Because it is literally everywhere!! Fashion will spontaneously appear when you aren't looking for it and conveniently when you are. Every time I see an outfit inspiration I get super excited! I get a new found joy inside just thinking of my own pieces in my closet that I can put together to give me the chill, edgy, or high-end look that I saw. I'm either racking my brain for similar items I already own or making a mental shopping list to conquer with my next paycheck. There was a particular miracle that encouraged this blog post. As I sat in my drab airport seat waiting to board my delayed plane I could have just cried. I had a ton of homework to complete, my plane wasn't departing for another hour, and on top of it all I was alone. I had been in awe of the modern bright lights, high-tech stores, and new restaurants as I walked through the airport. But with my luck my gate was I'm the plainest most sad, boring part of the building. But, as I pull out my iPad ready to do work while I sulk, I see a glimmer of hope in a seat diagonal from me. She was nothing spectacular, but in the midst of old, washed out hoodies and hideous floral tees she stood out like a lollipop in a bag of broccoli. Adorable floppy hat and booties the perfect shades of fall. Her denim button up and black leggings gave me a sense of tranquility that lifted my spirits. Thank you airport girl boarding to Minnesota. Now where can I get a hat like that?

One Thing.

Do you ever see someone and their outfit is okay but they have this one piece that is just YES? That happens quite often at my school. It's a private school so of course there's a lot of money walking around, but having money doesn't mean you know how to use it. Expensive ugly clothing makes me sad. I can't stand to see people spend so much money on things of such little fashion value! But, sometimes the people make good decisions. Basic tee, ugly skirt, CUTE BOOTIES. Bad ponytail, worn sandals, GREAT DRESS. Whole outfit's a bust, HAIR IS ON POINT. Sometimes the people just can't get it right. I get it, no one's perfect, but just try, a little. 

Shoutout to Smart People

I have so much respect for people who have the rare ability to conquer high school well. I usually consider myself pretty well-rounded. This thought proceeds to leave when although my volleyball team (which I'm the captain of) is undefeated and my social life is flourishing (as far as you know) but my AP European History grade is an 86! Arguably this is an AP class so no big deal right? Wrong. This is notably the easiest AP course at NRCA behind AP Psychology so why am I struggling?! Knowing how easy it is to fall behind the cracks I am in awe of people who can hold life down with freaking straight A's. You people are my heroes. I'm incredibly jealous of lively straight A students, but only if they appear happy in other areas. If you never make to any of the social events and consider yourself an outcast, I'm not particularly interested in finding your secret. But the ones who make it look so good, stress free for colleges because they know they have what it takes to get in. Kudos to the wise and the focused, or the naturally intelligent because you guys are truly blessed.