Blessed.

This has been an amazing birthday so far and the day is not even here yet! I have been so blessed to spend time with my friends and parents. I feel like at the end of the day I have some consistent, amazing people in my life that continue to bring me joy, laughter, and support. Turning eighteen, seemingly all of a sudden, is crazy. Sometimes I want to go back to being five years old and clueless. But, then I realize I love where I am in my life; I love this discovery phase where I'm finding out who I am and who the people are that are really gonna be there for me. I love the element of not knowing that comes along with the transition out of high school. As scary as it is to wonder about my future, it's all the same, just as exhilarating. Of course gifts are pretty great too, but my life would be equally as great without them. My friends and family make me feel so genuinely happy! I'm just randomly smiling even though I have all of this homework to do before morning (of my birthday *frown*). But who cares, JESUS LOVES ME IN SPITE OF BAD GRADES! Hallelujah!

Chapter 12: Senior Year.

It is so weird to live my life now thinking about how just about everything that I do is for the last time. As a senior in high school, I'm closing a lot of doors in my life in order to prepare for, hopefully, something much greater. I can say that coming to the end of the road with a lot of my friends makes me a much more emotional person. And I'm also a lot more blatantly honest; there's no more time to be fake. I've had to cut a lot of people off, and straight up not let a lot of people in. Not to say that I know it all, but I definitely feel that I've grown in my abilities to discriminate real from pseudo relationships. Caution: new life ahead; all dead weight must go. Wrapping up the first tournament of my last club volleyball season has definitely scurried my emotions. I played so much harder knowing that I'll never be back to play at that convention center ever again. I found myself quietly looking around at my teammates when we hung out in the hotel, just appreciating the opportunity to do what I love with such awesome friends. I think more in depth now. I consider my future with everything I see, whether it's the results of my own decisions (both positive and negative) or someone else in my life. At the same time that I'm thinking through it all, I'm making sure to let go at the appropriate time and live in these moments. Excited for my next chapter, I'm not going to miss a single word of the one I'm in.

Rainy day.

To everyone who was rude to me today because I decided to dress myself in spite of a little rain (but it was low key a monsoon, just saying) and not look like a tee-shirted Ugg-wearing bum like you did, *breathe* may God bless your weary, hating soul. Calling me a "try hard" and what not is just childish and it makes me laugh. There's no need to be nasty to others honey. Why? Because now I'm winning! Ha! To everyone who was their normal selves, and indifferent to my choices (because it's really no one's business anyway) thank you. And if you said something sweet, super thank you. Spread the good vibes folks. I'm all about females supporting females and people empowerment in general. I don't seek to tear down anyone who hasn't come for me. Everyone who, like me, looked out of their window and decided to go against that urge to put on a hoodie and rain boots CONGRATULATIONS you are a participant in social norm abandonment, my favorite thing. Let's be real, it's not like I put on nice outfits everyday no matter what; that's wishful thinking. I simply wanted to respond to the hate I received for standing out; nothing new.